Marvilous
by lindsay1220
Summary: Samantha Marvil, Lily Evans, and Alice Gregory are returning for their last year at Hogwarts. But it's really confusing them. Between the Marauders, irate teachers, and NEWT classes, the girls will have a tough time keeping up the hatred.
1. Chapter 1

disclaimer: I don't own anything except for Samantha and the plot. The rest belongs to the fantabulous JKR!****

a/n: Hey everyone! I finally got around to starting a new story! This is going to be a longer one, and I just wanted to thank my beta, Thee-thee (she doesn't have an account here, and that's just her nickname). So, anyway, here goes nothing!

Chapter 1: Hair Whipping and My Sirius Slap

"Go out with me, Evans?" I heard a voice ask. I turned to look at Lily. She looked like she was going to explode. I could have sworn that smoke came out of her ears.

"Just keep walking, Lils. Just ignore him," I said soothingly.

"So, should I take your silence as a yes?" James asked from behind us. Lily whirled on him, causing her fiery waves of hair to hit me across the face. I'll have to thank her for that later.

"Listen, Potter, I don't want to go out with you," she hissed. "The only reason you're not hexed right now is because we are on a crowded platform in front of witnesses! Come on Sam!" I won't deny that I sniggered. Hey, it was damn funny! But then Lily turned her death glare on me, so I shut up and followed her onto the train.

"Well, I'm going to find Alice," I said to Lily once we were on the train. "See you later, Head Girl." And with that I turned around, walked a few steps, and promptly tripped over the carpet. Just before I hit the ground, however, two strong arms caught me.

"Real smooth, Marvil. You've been on the train five seconds and you've already had a klutz-attack," said a deep voice.

I stood up and positioned myself face-to-face with Lily. Then I quickly turned around and giggled when Lily got a face-full of my curly brunette hair. Ha ha, revenge is sweet. While Lily sputtered, I looked at the guy who had saved me from my own feet.

He was way taller than me, but pretty much every boy is because I'm such a petite girl. His dark hair was cut short, and he had grey eyes. I rolled my own robin's-egg-blue eyes. Sirius Black.

"So, Samantha," he said while winking flirtatiously, "do I get a reward for saving your cute little butt?"

I practically gagged. "Sure, Black," I said. I then cheerfully hit him across the face. As he gasped, I giggled and collected my things. "Bye bye, Sirius. Lily, I expect you to be in mine and Alice's compartment before this trip is over," I said warningly, then I set off in my search of my other best friend, Alice Gregory. As it turned out, she was in the middle of the train.

As I put my trunk and my owl, Kiya, on the luggage rack, Alice asked, "So what's this I hear about you slapping Sirius after he saved your elbows from being skinned?" she asked playfully.

"Damn, woman!" I said loudly. "How do you already know about that? It happened about five minutes ago!"

Alice giggled and said, "Tut tut, Sam. Don't you know me at all?" I just sighed. That girl was scary when it came to gossip. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised. I _have_ been her friend since our first year.

As soon as I had filled her in on the details of My Sirius Slap, as we had named it, we started chatting about our summers. Then I got to have some fun torturing Alice. I had gossip she didn't! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

"So Alice," I said, "who do you think the head girl is?" I sniggered as she pondered the question.

"Well, I suppose the two most likely girls are Lily and Emma Rogers," she said slowly. I just stared quizzically. She then clarified. "You know, that girl who's dating Amos Diggory."

"Oooohhhhhhh," I said slowly. Then, right before I was about to make Alice beg me to tell her, Lily walked in. She looked positively deranged.

Alice squealed as she spotted the badge on Lily's shirt. "Oh, Lily, so you're the head girl!" As an afterthought, she added, "Actually that makes sense. I was wondering why you weren't sitting with us."

While Alice kept blabbering, I asked Lily a nice, simple question. I said, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"James freaking Potter is head boy!" she screeched. We all sat there in shock except for Lily, who was muttering to herself. Something that sounded suspiciously like "beat him over his big fat head with his broom…"

After a few seconds in silence, I said, just out of the blue, "Belinda thinks Filch is a stud-muffin!"

At first Lily and Alice just stared. Right when I thought their eyes were going to pop out, Alice asked, "Who the hell is Belinda?" At this we all lost it and burst into laughter. After we were quite done, I pointed out that we should start changing into our robes. We all got undressed and then rummaged through our trunks for our school uniforms. To this day I don't know why we never, in all of our years going to Hogwarts, got out our robes first. We just don't. Alice found hers first while Lily and I were still in bikini underwear and our lacy bras.

When Alice was halfway into her robes, the Marauders burst into our carriage. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter just stared at us, their eyes glazed over and their mouths hanging open. It seemed they were quite oblivious to our shrieks of "Get out, you effing perverts!" and "Damn it, you idiots, get the hell away from us!". Alice had managed to slip into her robes, the lucky devil. Eventually, me and Lily decided that it was necessary to jinx the hell out of the boys, then shove them violently out of carriage, which we did with great gusto.

After we had slammed the door of our carriage and locked it, Lily and I came to our senses and summoned our robes with a quick charm.

"Can you believe them?" Lily asked vehemently. "They _soo_ did that on purpose!"

"So Alice," I said slyly, deciding to ignore Lily, "I noticed Remus had his eyes glued to you."

"And I noticed Sirius only staring at you!" she shot back, blushing violently. "Besides, you know I'm dating Frank Longbottom right now."

It was my turn to blush. "Sirius was not staring at me!" I insisted. I glanced at the window. Sirius did _not _like me like that. Besides, why would he be staring at me? Lily is much more striking with her green eyes and red hair. Plus she is way curvier than me. After thinking along these lines for a few seconds, I finally noticed what was _outside_ the window. So I said, "Uh Lily, you and I had better finish changing. We're here."

a/n: Sooooo, what did you guys think? Also I'm sorry it's a bit short, but it was mainly introducing characters, and LOTS of fluff. So please leave a review. It's really quite easy. You just scroll down a bit more, and there's a box. You tell me what you thought, and it's done!


	2. Chapter 2

disclaimer: I own nothing but Sam and the plot. At least I own _**something**_.****

a/n: Hi guys. I'm sorta sad right now. I have no reviews for this story. Well, here's the next chapter.

Chapter 2: The Prankster Princesses

After the carriage ride up to the school, me, Lily, and Alice started walking towards the Gryffindor table. We looked for seats, but the only ones we could see were right across from the Marauders.

"I bet they planned this," Lily said venomously we walked toward the Marauders who, I might add, were sniggering. "You wait," she continued, "as soon as we sit down, they'll comment on our underwear, Sam."

"Probably," I said, while practicing the death glare I would give the Marauders on a little Hufflepuff boy. When he cowered behind his friend, who also looked mortally afraid, I laughed out loud. When the two boys looked relieved, like they thought I was pulling a joke on them, I barked at them and then growled viciously, which eared me at least seventeen and a half that-chick-is-totally-insane looks. But on the plus side, those two wimpy boys looked scared again, and that made me happy for some odd reason.

"Uh, Sam?" Lily asked tentatively. "Have you completely lost it?" Oops. I had completely forgotten about Lily and Alice. When I looked over at the two of them, Lily was giving me the eighteenth and a half that-chick-is-totally-insane look I had received in the hall that night. Alice just looked like she was going to bust out laughing. I decided that since we were almost at our seats, and because I wanted revenge on her for mocking me, I would make Alice laugh.

She has the weirdest laugh. It's totally infectious, and it comes in bursts with little snorts thrown in. Okay, I'm _way_ off topic. So anyway, I made her laugh easily. All I did was say, "Belinda…" and she just started cracking up, which made anyone in earshot of her crack up. When we finally sat down in our seats, the Marauders were cracking up too. I used their inability to speak to my advantage. I used a quick nonverbal silencing charm (ha ha, ironic) on the four. When all the laughing had died out, the Marauders were looking cocky. James mouthed something that looked like "So, Evans…" and then sent a look of terror to Sirius when nothing came out. Sirius was looking freaked out too. They were like bloody mimes! It was awesome!

I seized my chance for a good prank when it looked like the boys were shouting random things. I quickly muttered the counter-curse, and James suddenly yelled "Whether we be old and bald or young with scabby knees!" while Sirius bellowed at the top of his lungs "Muggleborns yes I do, I love muggleborns how about you!" and Remus was shouting "-ophyllius Lovegood likes the Blibbering Humdinger the best!" while Peter hollered "All saw them in their underwear!" just as Dumbledore was saying the bit of his speech where he talks about the Forbidden Forest being forbidden, which is kind of agiven. Anyway, everybody turned towards the Marauders and burst out laughing. Almost everybody in Slytherin was glaring at Sirius, Xenophyllius Lovegood was staring at Remus, and me, Lily and Alice were sending our death glares to Peter. It gave me enormous satisfaction to see him cower in fear when he saw my look. I mean, if he hadn't been afraid, that practice on the Hufflepuffs would have been for nothing, and if you think about it, none of this stuff would have happened!

"Thank you, young men," Dumbledore said while his eyes were doing that cool twinkle thing. "Now as I was saying…" and then he finished up his speech and made food appear.

"Thank Merlin!" I said loudly. Then I began piling stuff on my plate. I had only had a bowl of Wheaties and one puke-flavored Bertie Bott's Bean to eat that day. But the puke-bean made me feel sick, so I didn't eat anything else on the train. I glanced at James and Sirius and lost my appetite. They were practically making out with their plates, vacuuming the food off and then getting seconds, thirds, fourths! It was dee-scusting.

"I feel like I'm going to puke," Lily muttered while pointedly looking away from the boys.

I moaned. "Lily," I whined, "don't bring that up. I think that bean is coming back up!" Lily looked at me in alarm. I sniggered because the look on her face was priceless. Plus, I rather enjoy snorting, sniggering, giggling, laughing, guffawing… You know, anything along those lines.

"So, Evans," James drawled. Apparently, while we had been talking about vomit, James and Sirius had finished indecently stuffing themselves.

"I love that little pink bow on your bra, Marvil," Sirius interrupted.

I smiled radiantly at him, and he looked very surprised. "I know," I said with a big goofy grin on my face. "It's marvelous, isn't it," I said, before heartily laughing. When nobody else started laughing, I said, "You know. Marvil. Marvil-ous. Marvilous." Lily and Alice started laughing, followed closely by Remus. I stared expectantly at Sirius. After a few seconds, comprehension lit his gorgeous face. Wait, did I just say _his gorgeous face_? What the hell? Well, whatever. Scratch that out. Anyway, he started laughing. "Damn it, guys, don't leave me hanging like that," I said while jokingly wiping sweat off of my brow.

The rest of dinner passed without anything too interesting happening. There were no more comments about mine and Lily's underwear, thank Merlin. In the end, we girls just left because we were tired (At least, that's what we told the guys). Our plan was going perfectly. We had discussed it during the carriage ride, and we girls had decided to start a prank war with the Marauders.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Okay, girlies," Alice said upon entering the boys' room.

"Hang on," I interrupted. "Girlies?" I asked Alice. She shrugged.

"Anyway," she said, glaring at me. "Let's get started. We probably only have about fifteen minutes, given how many shortcuts they know. Lily, you take the walls and roof. I'll do the floor and their clothes. Sammy, you take the decorations, beds, and the rest of it. Okaaay… Go!" With that shout, we started our work.

"Umm, what color did we decide on?" Lily asked hurriedly.

"Fuchsia for the walls, carnation for the roof, and anything girly for accents on the walls," I rattled off quickly. I myself was working very hard. Carnation pink bedspreads, fuchsia pillows, creepily grinning stuffed animals that would come to life and attack whoever touched them (I had added this in without Lily or Alice's knowledge, hee hee), purple streamers coming down from the roof, pictures of faeries on the walls, and the last touch, a male model calendar. Alice had taken the liberty of taking all of their clothes and replacing them with blouses, skirts, high-heels, you know. Girly clothes.

"Perfect," Alice breathed. "Lily, do the charms." A charm that makes the painting and calendars stay there forever, a charm that made the walls, floor, and roof stay the colors they were. You had to paint over them! Oh, and that charm that made everything stay the way it was until you changed it without magic, and the one to make everything unvanishable. Oh, we are _so_ good!

"Let's scat, kitty-cats!" I said, promptly running out of the room on all-fours and meowing. Alice and Lily started laughing.

"And you… were on my case… for saying… 'girlies'!" Alice choked out between laughs.

"Come on you guys, hurry up!" Lily hissed. We calmed down and made our way back to our dorms.

We heard the Marauders come into the common room and start up their stairs.

"Shut up!" I snapped at the other roommates, who me, Lily, and Alice didn't really like.

We all held our breath until we heard them scream. Then we broke into gales of laughter.

"Damn," I muttered when I was done laughing. I had heard the boys running up the stairs (I still don't know how they do that without falling…). "You two," I barked at the other roomies, Sarah Parker and Gina Hopkiss. "Tell the Marauders we've been asleep since before you guys came in or I'll hex you both into a jelly," I said dangerously, then I laid down and pretended to be asleep. They knew I wasn't kidding. I actually invented a hex to turn people into jellies. And a counter-curse, of course. Ahem. Anyway.

I heard them burst into the room, and Sirius said, "Oh don't pretend to be asleep. We know you did it!"

"Actually," Sarah said in her snooty voice, "they were in bed when we got up here, and they've been sleeping this entire time. By the way Black," she drawled, "what made you guys scream like sissies up there? Was Rita Skeeter in there naked?" I almost laughed, but refrained somehow. Sarah and Gina giggled like bimbos.

"Well, if we screamed so loud, why are they still asleep?" Oops, he had me there.

"Bloody hell," I swore. Then I sat up. "Well, Sirius, we take the credit. It is Marvil-ous in there. Did you guys look in the calendar yet?" I asked him, smiling. He shook his head. "Well," I said evenly, "we decided to cut you guys _some_ slack. It's a calendar of naked women." Lily giggled softly, but no one else heard it.

Sirius looked like Christmas had come early. "Really?" he asked. I nodded. "Thank you!" he practically squealed. I snorted derisively.

"Oh, and the stuffed animals," I said. He nodded expectantly. "They have lingerie stuffed inside of them." I told him. The four boys rushed out of our dormitory, and Lily, me, and Alice proceeded to crack up with lots of enthusiasm. We couldn't speak coherently for at least ten minutes.

When we had settled down, I felt pretty exhausted. "I'm hitting the sack you guys," I announced with a huge yawn. "Night."

"Hang on," Lily said. "Why did you tell them lingerie was in the stuffed animals? Now the boys will rip them apart!"

"You'll see in the morning, Lils," I said evasively. "Goodnight," I added firmly, before laying down and going to sleep almost instantly.

a/n: Could everyone please be nice? I don't care if it was loved or hated, I just want to know what you think! I also love to hear about your favorite quotes! Well, hope you guys enjoyed. I'll try to get the next one finished and posted soon.


	3. Chapter 3

_disclaimer: I don't really own anything you recognize. That belongs to J. K. Rowling! Also, I mention Twilight, so just in case, that belongs to Stephenie Meyer._  
**  
**a/n: Hiyah, peoples. I AM SOOOO SORRY I HAVEN'T POSTED FOR SO LONG! First, I had writer's block. I got over it and wrote the chappie on my organizer, which I always forgot to bring home. But, it's finally here. This chapter is dedicated to a reviewer who doesn't have an account, who signed as 'you will never know'. So, without further ado, here is chapter 3!

Chapter 3: So There Are TWO Forces Taking Over the World!

I woke up the next morning giggling. Actually, it's not that unusual for me to wake up giggling, even though I never remember my dreams. One time I woke up screaming "Quick, Shaniqua, we need to get to the nearest Krag and Berb so I can drink the Chinese fruit-pickle!"

Yeah, I don't know either.

Anyway, it was time to launch my Marvilous plan. I needed to get a few more galleons because of the upcoming Hogsmeade trip. Zonko's prices were raising, and I was in need of some pranking items of a sensitive nature. After all, if we were going to have a prank war with the Marauders, we needed to be properly stocked!

My plan was elegant in it's duplicity, or something like that. I should ask Lily about those weird Muggle sayings. She was telling me one about eating a worm the other day. Ick.

So anyway. My plan was this: I was going to bet on how the boys would look. Lily and Alice would jump in on it, of course. I'm pretty sure they'll bet on which clothes the boys will be wearing. I, on the other, hand, will bet that the boys will be scratched up.

Aaaannnndddd… GO!

"Lily, wake up!" I screamed. The other roomies looked up from their pillows sleepily, and Lily yawned morning breath in my face. I staggered over to my bed (which is right next to Lily's) fanning the air around my nose. No wonder she never skips brushing. And I mean NEVER! Once, she woke up late (strange, isn't it?) so she skipped breakfast just so she could brush her teeth. I was appalled, because I love eating. Luckily, I possess table manners, unlike the Marauders, who I suspect were raised with pigs.

"Why did you scream? You woke me up," Alice griped. She isn't exactly a ray of sunshine in the morning, but who is? I think morning people are aliens. Anyway, I smiled sweetly at Alice.

"Come now, Alice," I chided. "We're doing something fun today anyway." I knew that would intrigue her. Naturally, it worked right away.

"Fine, what are we doing today?" she asked heavily. She knew I wouldn't let her go back to sleep. In fact, it's kind of scary how well my friends know me. But it's awesome they like me anyway.

"I want to bet on how the Marauders will look," I explained. "I'll put down five galleons on my bet."

Alice was wide awake now, and her eyes looked calculating. "All right, I'll bet five as well."

Lily looked uncertain. "I'll only bet two," she said hesitantly. When she saw our glares, she said meekly, "You know I don't have a lot of wizard money."

"Sorry, Lils, I forgot," I said hastily. "So we have twelve galleons up for grabs."

"Okay," said Alice. "I think we should write down our bets on pieces of paper and pass them around. It'll take to long to hear them out loud."

"Alright, but you can't change your bet after you've read the other ones, or I'll stick you in a chicken suit and push you into the Great Hall during dinner," I warned. "Whoever is closest to how the Marauders look the first time we see them wins. Assuming they're in any clothes, of course," I added as an afterthought.

After we all shuddered at the thought of Peter naked (ugh, I just shuddered _right there_), Lily and Alice consented and grabbed pieces of parchment. The bets were as follows:

Lily:

_Potter- Bell-bottom jeans, black 'Diva' shirt, bejeweled platform__  
__sneakers___

_Black- Pink jeans, 'I Heart the Holyhead Harpies' tee shirt, black__  
__ballet flats___

_Remus- Poodle skirt, pink fitted tee, cork wedges___

_Peter- 'I Like Guys Who Sparkle' Twilight shirt, blue micro-mini, red__  
__heels___

Alice_:___

_Remus- Pink Capri pants, 'I Heart Shopping' shirt, strappy tan__  
__sandals___

_James- Pink jeans, 'Diva' shirt, black ballet flats___

_Sirius- Bell-bottoms, Twilight top, rhinestone sneakers___

_Peter- Poodle skirt, purple halter, cork wedges_

My bet_:___

_Scratched up, will scream at word 'unicorn'_  
There was a lot of laughing as the bets were read (except for when mine was read. Then there was head-scratching.).

"Why would they scream at the word 'unicorn'?" Lily asked.

"Oh, it's just a hunch," I said playfully.

"What did you do, Sam?!!?" Alice screeched.

"You'll see later," I said. "See you guys at breakfast!"

I scurried out of there and slammed the door as Alice yelled "Accio Sam!" I found out that 'accio' actually works on people. I grabbed the banister just in time. I ended up floating in the air, being pulled towards our dorm, for about ten seconds. It was AWESOME!

"If you vant to know vat I know, you must meet me at ze Gryffindor breakfast table!" I yelled in a German accent.

"Why is there a German yelling at seven in the morning on a Saturday?" asked a sleepy voice.

I spun around and saw Sirius's head (which was covered in scratches, I might gleefully add) pop over the back of the couch, blinking sleepily.

"There isn't. Go back to sleep," I ordered softly.

"Alright 'en. Nighty night," he slurred.

I started towards the portrait hole, because I new Lily and Alice would be coming down soon. But I had to stop when I saw what Sirius was wearing.

As it turns out, he was wearing the blue micro-mini, which showed off his scratched legs. But that was it. He must have decided that a shirt would diminish his beauty.

I crept up to him and quietly summoned my shaving cream and razor. I then put a spell on Sirius so that he wouldn't wake up for the next thirty minutes or so. Then, I proceeded to shave his left leg. Unfortunately, he lost some blood, because my razor was getting stuck on his scratches. Oh well.

I was about to shave his other leg when I remembered that Alice and Lily could be coming down at any time. So I ditched him with one silky-smooth leg and one hairy leg. Yeah, it was pretty much better than what I had planned in the first place.

I gave the girls a point on the prank war mental scoreboard. The standings were currently: Girls- 3, Boys-1. I consider the boys walking in on us a prank.

I scanned the Gryffindor table for the Marauders (minus Sirius) as I walked. I didn't see them anywhere. Was it possible that they had chickened out? Maybe, 'cept for good ole Remus!

He turned out to be wearing… HIS REGULAR CLOTHES??!?!!!? WHAT THE HELL?!!???!!

Ahem. Pardon the all-caps. I was shocked, okay?!

So anyway, I started towards him, yelling "Remy! How've you been? Wait up, Remy, we really need to catch up!" I attracted approximately 43 more that-chick-is-totally-insane looks, but pressed on, mowing down a couple of Hufflepuff first-years that looked oddly familiar. I was determined to get the goods from Remus.

Ugh, that's another weird Muggle saying. I mean, 'get the goods'? It sounds like I'm a perv, or a drug dealer. Let's just pretend I never said that. All right, on with the story!

"Yes, Sam?" Remus asked. "What did you need?"

"Oh, Remy," I said while affectionately patting him on the shoulder, "sometimes you sound like such a dork."

He sighed. "Thanks, Sam. My friends are already mad at me. Why not add insult to injury?"

Huh, another weird Muggle saying. They're just cropping up all over the place. They're like billboards on a highway! Or, or… flies at a dumpster! Ahhhhhh!!! They're going to attack me!

Whoo. Sorry 'bout that. Got a bit carried away.

"Sam!" Remus shouted. Whoopsie. I guess he was talking to me while I was freaking out over weird Muggle sayings taking over the world. Oh well, you can't please everybody.

"SAAAAAMMMM!" Remus yelled in my ear.

"WHAAAAATTT, REEEEEEEMMMUUUUSSSSS?" I howled back. I think that little exchange earned me about eighty-seven more that-chick-is-totally-insane looks. Whoo! I beat my record of ninety-seven looks in one day!

"Ugh, stop zoning out, Sam," Remus snapped.

"Sorry Remus. So, uh, why do your friends hate you again?" I asked.

"Well, I was being a bit dramatic," Remus admitted.

"I tend to bring that out of people," I said proudly.

He smiled, then continued. "Anyway, they won't stop bugging me because I won't tell them how to fix their living space."

"Awww, that's my Remy, I cooed. "You're such a smart cookie!" I pinched his cheek.

"Awww, Moooommmm!" he groaned. We busted out laughing.

"So, did you also figure out how to get the stuffed animals off you?" I asked nonchalantly.

He smirked. "I had a feeling that was you!" he said excitedly. "If you must know, I couldn't get the spell off," he continued as a gave him a hundred-watt smile, "but I did manage to set them on Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail instead of me."

"Oh, Remus, I always knew you'd turn bad," I said while punching him lightly in the arm.

We had reached the Gryffindor breakfast table. Since none of our other friends were there, we sat down together.

"Hold up," I said suddenly, in the middle of Remus describing an epic battle for the bell-bottoms that the other Marauders had partaken in. "You have normal clothes on!" I know, I know, I already freaked out about this earlier, but sometimes I have a super-short attention span, okay?! I was distracted by evil Muggle sayings and their plans to take over the world!"Yeah," Remus said, smirking. "I was wondering when you'd comment." He beamed. "It was easy enough for me to transfigure them back." As an afterthought, he added, "But I couldn't get this off the front."

I cackled. It was another surprise I'd thrown in. Even if the Marauders managed to transfigure their clothes back (which would be no easy feat because, if you hadn't notice, I was rather excellent at Transfiguration and Charms), the clothes would say "MARVILOUS!" in hot-pink, swirly letters.

"Now I'm Marvilous," Remus declared in falsetto.

"SAM, TELL US WHAT YOU DID!" I heard Alice yell. Everybody in the Great Hall (there weren't a lot of people- it was 7:30 in the morning on the first Saturday of term) turned to look.

"NOT THIS YELLING THING AGAIN, I ALREADY YELLED WITH REMY TODAY!" I screamed. My voice cracked when I said "Remy". The effect was pretty funny and everyone was laughing, except the teachers. They were glaring. (except for Dumbledore, who smiled and twinkled)

"Miss Marvil, would you kindly keep your voice down?" asked Professor McGonnagall.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!" I screamed. Alice, lily, and Remus looked at me like huh? McGonnagall had this shocked look on her face. Sheesh, you would think that no student had ever talked back to her. Oh, wait…

Anyway, I continued shouting 'cause I'm weird like that. "I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS! THAT EVIL WOMAN IS TAKING OVER THE WORLD, AND YOU WANT ME TO BE QUIET?!!?"

"What?" McGonnagall asked confusedly. " Who's taking over the world?"

"J. K. Rowling," I said matter-of-factly. I was just making this up on the spot. "She's an author from the future. I never told anyone, but I'm uh, a Seer!"

"Oh yes?" McGonnagall asked skeptically.

"Yeah. J. K. is a Muggle, but she's going to find out about wizard kind. She'll write a book about a kid name Harry…" My eyes fell on Lily. "…Potter. He's James and Lily's son."

"What? Sam!" Lily yelled.

"And in one of her books, there are seven Harrys. She taking over the world, one Harry at a time," I ad-libbed randomly.

"HEEEEE WIIIIILLLLLLLL SSAAAAAAVVVVEEEE UUSSSS ALLL FROOOM THE DAARK LOOORD, VOOOLDEEEEMMMOORRRRTT!" I yelled in a weird voice.

I got a week of detention for 'disrupting the peace of the Great Hall'. Just in case you haven't guessed yet, I get a lot of detentions.

Later that day, I was sitting in the Charms classroom, semi-listening to Flitwick teaching about a charm of one sort or another. I was pretty steamed. The Marauders, minus Remus, hadn't showed up for any of their classes! They're such cowards!

"Arrg, they're such cowards!" I muttered.

"I'm not a coward!" cried Snivellous Snape. He looked insane.

"Well, Severus, I'm happy for you, but why is that relevant in our discussion?" Oh, busted by Flitwick. Well, I don't know why Snape, who sat right behind me, thought I was talking about him, but it was pretty fun to whip my head around and stare at him.

Snivellous doesn't get in trouble a whole bunch. Him getting in trouble, is like a, like a needle in a haystack. Gasp! Another Muggle saying! Okay, I just need to calm down.

Whoo. All right, I'm good.

Wait, if everyone is staring at Snape… HE'S STEALING MY THAT-CHICK-IS-TOTALLY-INSANE LOOKS!

Hee hee, Snape's a chick.

I'd always had a feeling there was something up with him.

After Charms, my last class of the day, I rounded up Lily and Alice. They wouldn't listen until I told them 'vat I knew', so I filed them in on my additions to our prank.

Then I told them my new idea for a prank. They cracked up and agreed to it, after we'd fixed a few snags.

We would act tonight.

a/n: Please, please, please, pleasepleasepleaseplease review! I really want to know what you think! I thrive on feedback! And, if you tell me your fave quotes, I'll put them in the next a/n. I'll dedicate the next chapter to the first new reviewer! Please direct your mouse to the handy-dandy little box at the bottom and tell me your opinion! Pretty-please?


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